Self-portrait

Between Worlds

Painted at age seventeen, this self-portrait emerged during a period of profound personal tension and self-discovery.

Narrative

Born to immigrant parents who arrived as refugees, I grew up navigating two distinct worlds. Outside the home, I was encouraged to excel, adapt, and succeed. Inside, I was expected to honor the traditions, values, and expectations of the culture my family had carried with them. The space between these identities often felt impossible to reconcile.

Created over three sleepless days as my first oil painting, the work became an act of determination as much as self-expression. Art materials were scarce, and painting was not encouraged within the home. My brother provided the supplies that made the work possible, offering belief and support at a time when neither felt certain.

Influenced by the emotional intensity and movement of Van Gogh, the portrait combines a still, direct figure with a turbulent environment of color and motion. The contrast reflects an inner reality that was difficult to articulate at the time: a life lived between cultures, expectations, ambitions, and identities.

Though painted as a portrait, the work is less concerned with physical likeness than with the experience of becoming. The figure occupies a space between belonging and individuality, tradition and self-definition, certainty and possibility.

Looking back, this painting marks the beginning of a lifelong exploration of how people carry multiple histories, communities, and identities within a single life. It is both a self-portrait and a record of a young woman searching for her place between worlds.

Materials

Year

Painted at age 17

Medium

Oil on canvas

Size

30 inches by 36 inches